28 Reasons to be Thankful

Last year, I wrote a gratitude list. This year I want to do the same. Since Thanksgiving fell on the 28^th this year, I think it is fair to write 28 things that has made me grateful this year.

1-      I was able to go back to Ukraine. I was able to see my friends and make new friends. I also attended a religious conference for all the young, single adults in Ukraine.

2-      I am grateful to be learning a new language. Since I began learning Russian, my eyes have been opened. I am beginning to understand the structure of the English language (as strange as that sounds) but it has also made my English speaking ability worse (which probably sounds more strange).

3-      I am grateful for BYU-Idaho. Every time I go on that campus I feel welcomed, like I am supposed to be there.

4-      I am grateful for food because it keeps me alive and it is pleasing to my taste buds.

5-      Trials. Never in my wildest dreams would I think to be grateful for my trials but I am. I have learned so much from them. I wouldn’t trade those lessons for anything.

6-      I am thankful for my old friends who have stuck with me through the years.

7-      I am thankful for the friends I have made this year. I feel like I have known them longer.

8-      I am thankful for my parents. I don’t have the closest relationship with them but I can definitely tell that it is a little better than in years past.

9-      I am grateful for the ability to live my dreams of traveling the world.

10-  I am grateful for the people I have met during my travels.

11-  I am thankful for the standards that I have. Many people see it as a long list of dos and don’ts but that is not how I see it. The standards that I hold show that I will not be tossed to and fro with the world’s changing and conflicting standards. I stand firmly with my feet planted on the ground. I know who I am and I don’t need the world to tell me.

12-  I am thankful for music. It captures my emotions and puts it into rhythm.

13-  I am thankful for the knowledge that I have that families can be together forever. I can’t imagine loving someone so much only to have that love end after this life.

14-  I am thankful for the written word. I am able to express myself better when I am given time to think and write down my thoughts.

15-  I am thankful for special education. Children who struggle learning or socializing can have a place that is at their level and they can succeed at their pace.

16-  I am thankful for the skills I have learned this year that will help me when I become a teacher.

17-  I am grateful for cameras.  I can document my life and all the reasons why I love it.

18-  I am grateful that I learned how to make Filipino food. I made it for the first time without my mom and it turned out great! I would have been happy if it was edible but it was amazing!!

19-  I have a working car. It has been with me for over five years. It will a sad, sad day indeed when I say goodbye to it.

20-  I am grateful for my testimony. It has be tried and tested this year but it came out stronger than before.

21-  I am grateful for tears and laughter that has been shared because it means I am alive.

22-  I am so thankful and will be forever indebted to my Savoir, Jesus Christ. If I didn’t believe in him then life would be meaningless.

23-  I am thankful for the power of repentance and the realness of the Atonement. Enough said…

24-  I am thankful for the gift and the companionship of the Holy Ghost. I would have gotten in to a few pickles if it weren’t for his guidance.

25-  I am grateful for this holiday. It is a great time to reflect and appreciate the things we may have let slide pass us.

26-  I am thankful for the scriptures. I learn so much every time I read them.

27-  I am grateful for the smile I have been given. It has been through a lot. Most people don’t even know what my smile has witnessed.

I am grateful to be Erika! I don’t want to be anybody else! I love being me.

My Thoughts on Love

Have you ever met a person and instantly knew that they were the person you were going to end up marrying? And I don’t mean the way where you sit in a room and you look at everyone and wonder if it is them. I mean the kind where it catches you off guard and you cannot doubt the feelings. It is like a voice in your head told you that he or she will be the one you will spend the rest of your life with and it will be the greatest journey you will ever embark. And then you wonder where that thought came from because it most certainly didn’t come from you but you cannot deny you heard it.

Then you get excited because you finally found true love and life is wonderful and amazing. You are on cloud nine and there is no way of getting off of it and you don’t want to. You want to stay on that cloud forever. You feel like finding this person is the best thing that has ever happened to you and things will only get better. You start planning your future around this person. Everything is falling into place.

But then you fall off that cloud. You crash. You feel like you have broken every bone in your heart. Your body is just fine yet you have never experienced this much pain in your life. It is unbearable. You want to die. In fact, you feel dead. Life cannot go on. I mean how can it when you were supposed to spend it with that one person and now they have taken themselves out of the picture, well, not completely. They say they still want to be friends. You just got friend zoned. They pretty much took a gun and shot you in the heart. And there is virtually no way of getting out of it and there is no point in being friends. I don’t care how mature you are, being friend zoned bites. It is a constant reminder that you are in love with him or her and he or she doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings.

You feel like you will never find love, especially not after them because you were pretty much told that they were "the one". And, well, there can only be one "the one". If there were two or three and it wouldn’t be called “the one”.

So you do your best to move on. What else can you do? There are plenty of things you can do, actually. You can mope around in your pajamas eating ice cream. You can convince that person to change their mind. You can write a vindictive song about them. Or you can accept their decision and continue on with your life as they continue on with theirs. Life does go on even if it feels like it won’t.

Then, someday, a new person will come into your life. You will feel an attraction. Most likely, if you are like me, you will be hesitant; it is only natural. If you gained any wisdom from your previous relationship it is not to rush into it too quickly. After all, this could be the one (since, clearly, the last person wasn’t) and you don’t want to ruin it or it might not be. And that is okay. Enjoy the ride. Live in the moment. Don’t worry if you will ever find “the one”.

            Chances are they are going through the same things.And when you, two, do meet you will appreciate everything you had to go through. And when you do find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it will be wonderful and amazing. It will also be difficult and prove to be challenging. Your life will be forever changed. And, suddenly, you can’t imagine spending the rest of your life with any other person. You, simply, cannot be happier with any other person. And the best part of it all is that they feel the same way too.

Had a bad day...I bet it wasn't as bad as you think

      The furnace is broken and I am sitting in my freezing house all curled up in a ball under a blanket near the fire, contemplating my blessings.
       I am sure that people who read my blog or Facebook updates or if you are around me a lot are probably sick of how positive I can be. You probably think, “My gosh! Doesn’t this girl ever have a bad day?” or “I think that smile is permanently stuck on her face.” or “She can’t be human.” Well, I hate to break it to you but I am. I am as human as the next person. Throw everything you ever knew about Erika out the window.
      Things have been rough for me but things have also been good. I won’t go into all the details because some of it is personal. As much as I loved volunteering for ILP, I wish it was an actual job. I made no money while I was there. So I have absolutely no money now and I don’t get paid for another week. Getting paid once a month really blows! And on top of that, my car broke down two weeks after I got home. I finally got it fixed! Two days later it stopped working. And now my house feels like it is the same temperature as it is outside! And let’s not forget all the things I decided to leave out of this blog.
Despite everything that is going on, there are still so many good things happening. One of them is that I am reunited with my old roommate, Annika. She helps me to be the best person ever. And if you think I am positive, you clearly haven’t met this lady. She is like me….but magnified! To say the least…we get along very well.
      Another blessing is that I got a long term sub job at Andrus Elementary working as an assistant. I get along very well with my coworkers and students. I am beginning to feel like a regular there. They even asked me to come back next month. They don’t want me to leave for school. They are fun. My students are pretty independent so I get to spend my time daydreaming of my own classroom. I am excited for that day. I taught the students how to make paper snowflakes and one of my students is now obsessed with making them. That is all he ever wants to do. I created a snowflake monster…or so he says.
      I can still work even though I don’t have a car. My parents have been so generous and selfless as to pick me up to and from work everyday. They don’t have to but they are so willing. And I am very grateful for my parents. We may not always get along but I love them. They deserve all the good things they can get.  
      I also get to be with four of my most favorite people: Kaeden, Gwen, Alyson, and Dax. Of all the roles I have been given, daughter, sister, friend, employee, student, etc, being an aunt is my favorite role. When I count my blessings, they are the first four I count because they have changed my life.
      Another thing that is wonderful is church. I liked being in a family ward while in Ukraine. I thought of continuing it when I came home. I decided to go to my singles ward since I am single and within that age bracket. And I am happy that I made that decision. I am with my friends and my bishop takes good care of me. He even said the words, “we’ll take care of you.”And I feel that he honestly meant every single word. There was so much love behind it.
      I have accumulated a lot of knowledge and a little bit of wisdom over my 25 years on this earth. I may be young but we can learn from everyone despite their age. And so if there is one thing you take away from reading this blog, I hope it is that no matter how bad your day is, there is always some good in it. So if you have a bad day,  count your blessings. Search of the good things that did happen. And I bet that it isn't has bad as you think.

A New Year; A New Me

Seeing the year 2013 will take some getting used to. It is usually about mid-March that I stop writing the previous year on things. I am one day into the new year and it is already showing potential of being a great year. I am living once again with an old roommate of mine and I have sub jobs pretty much lined up for this month. And I know that as long as I keep being positive and optimistic about things, this year will be great. I know that it will have its fair share of trials and difficulties but it will also be filled with lots of blessings.

For my New Year resolution, I have decided to continue something that I started in Ukraine. And that is not to live with regrets. I shouldn’t hesitate. I should just go and do. Or unless it is unsafe, then have the courage to say no. I need to follow promptings the moment I get them. I don’t want to live with regret because I chose not to do something. I won’t know the outcome of most things but I shouldn’t let the fear of the unknown scare me. It is okay if things don’t turn out the way I imagined it in my heard. No matter the outcome, I can still learn from it.

This year is a time to improve myself. And I am going to do it! I am tired of missed opportunities. I am tired of waking up the next day regretting. 

Now I know that I won’t be perfect at it but I have 12 months to work on it until 2014. I have lived my whole life in fear of the unknown. And I am going to stop it! I know that as long as I put all my trust in my Heavenly Father, there is nothing to fear. This new lifestyle will take some getting used to but in the end it will prove to be most beneficial. 

Happy New Year

Hey! It has been a while since I updated my blog. I have been home almost two weeks now. But before I go any further, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas.

So, I have been home for two weeks and already my adventure to Ukraine feels like a dream. It doesn’t help that I have dreamed about Ukraine almost every day either. So I talk to my friends there to remind me that it wasn’t just a dream, it actually happened. And I look at all my pictures and smile. I can’t help but wonder what I did to be so blessed as to have had this amazing and unique experience. I am truly a blessed woman. I never imagined going to Ukraine. Out of all the European countries I dreamed of visiting…it definitely was not on the list. But I am glad that I went.

Now that I am home, it doesn’t feel as strange as I thought it would be. I fell right back into the groove of things. I reached for my phone and started texting and it is once again glued to my hand. The weird thing for me was driving. I haven’t driven in months. I finally get to drive and it is in the snow. That made me happy…not! I, now, can get to places in thirty minutes or less, although I miss taking naps on the buses and metro. You can’t really nap when you are driving….it is frowned upon... they say it isn’t safe….or something….I dunno… 

My favorite things about being back home are: eavesdropping, understanding what other people are talking about, and having conversations with a complete stranger. Yes, hassle-free communication is what I missed the most about living in America. Though sometimes…you come across people, where even though you speak the same language, it feels like you are speaking two different languages.

I was happy to see my family again. My niece Aly hasn’t stopped telling me how much she loves me and that she cried when I was gone. I was gone for a semester which is the same amount of time when I am up in Rexburg, but nonetheless, I missed her like crazy too. I love my nieces and nephews. And being welcomed home with hugs and kisses was wonderful. Being among family is a great thing. 

This year has been filled with much excitement. It was an adventurous year filled with new jobs, abandoned houses, hospitals, traveling, friends, family, love, tears, adventures, experiences, and memories. 

Here's to this new year! I look forward to all that this new year has to offer!